Every Book I Read In April, Why Audiobooks Are Still "Reading", and Contemplating "Reader's Block"

There's a certain pressure that comes with reading, that I think a lot of people experience, even if we don't talk about it. Reading is the a "litmus test" for intelligence for many, and especially how much you're reading, even if what you're reading isn't actually "making you any smarter / thoughtful / critical / etc". Last year, I ended up reading thirty books. To myself, it's a pretty nasty achievement, and I was incredibly proud of myself. To some of my friends and family, it was celebrated. To others, they weren't nearly as impressed. One cousin specifically clarified if I had dyslexia, as their "Read-Books" for the year was in the hundreds. 

While reading is one of my favorite activities, if not my complete favorite, it's something I struggle to do consistently when I 'get in my head' about it. I was thrilled this year to attempt to one-up myself in my reading, and set a goal to read forty books in 2026. It felt easy; I had done thirty in 2025, and ten of them had all been in the month of October. What could go wrong?

Well, like every year, my seasonal depression cropped up and kicked my ass. It took me by surprise (which feels funnier at the moment, as I anticipate it every year), and I didn't get a single book done this year until about half way through April, just last month. I felt so incredibly stressed at the idea of three whole months passing me by, my hobbies and loves sifting through my fingers like sand.

And when I finally did read a book in April, it was like I was reborn and resplendent again: I was happy to pick up reading again, but felt differently about my goals. Maybe I didn't need to read forty this year. Or maybe even, I didn't need to read everything on my planned list, but could just read what felt right? And then, I ended up reading seven books in April, and listening to them via Audiobook to speed things along.

Here are my short reviews of every book in April, how they came through as an audiobook, any thoughts on if they'll be a longer blog post later, and why our learning and growing journeys are fluid and constantly changing.

1. Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

I've read Metamorphosis before, as most English students will. I ended up picking it up on April 13th this year, as I had become uncomfortable with the amount of video games I was playing. In finding a new farming/island/chores life sim video game, I had dumped hundreds of hours into gaming and listening to the same Disney tunes on repeat. I felt like my time could be more productive (which, productivity and the concept of 'laziness' is a whole different blog post to come).

Metamorphosis was available on Libby, through my local library, as an audiobook I wouldn't have to wait for. I listened to a handful of books via audio last year, and I've always been aware of the discourse surrounding audiobooks but have never added my own two cents. 

I think the point of reading is to consume ideas and perspectives, consider and think critically about them, adopt or drop them, and move on. That's at least an incredibly boiled-down version of my thoughts. Whether someone is absorbing information through a physical paperback book, their e-reader, or their headphones, I feel like the transference of knowledge is intentional and effective. I find the argument of audiobooks not "actually being reading" is ironic in a way, and you wouldn't say the same thing about whether a professor assigns a lot of textbook reading or prefers to lecture their students. 

Metamorphosis was completely different when being listened to. It made me much more understanding of the themes, the critical thought behind it, and how I felt about it. I forgot how sad it was, but I felt a little enlightened by the book through audio.

Metamorphosis received ⭐⭐⭐. It's a sad, reflective, magical-realism piece about identity and social standing. Would recommend.

(I promise, the reviews aren't all this long: i just had to get my two cents in about audiobooks)

2. The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

I managed to find this book in a similar fashion to Metamorphosis. Quickly after finishing Kafka's work in a sitting, I browsed Libby a bit longer to search for more readily available audiobooks in the "horror" genre. This book caught my attention through three things: its cover, which is a fascinating and beautiful stylized image, the genre tags of both "horror" and "fantasy", and its synopsis. A mermaid and a plague doctor stumble upon a village of immortal children and survive their fates.

Crazy, right? This audiobook was about three hours long, around 100 pages, and I ended up giving it ⭐⭐⭐⭐. It was mysterious, it was weird, and I really felt like I had no idea what was going on, in the best way. I also felt the audiobook narrator did a really great job at making the characters distinctive and interesting. It was sad and dark and gritty. Would recommend.

3. Me (Moth) by Amber McBride

Another audiobook that was found on Libby, this one was improperly tagged by my library as "horror". I would actually tag this as a magical-realism contemporary novella? It was young adult, which isn't totally my wheelhouse or preference, but I was curious on how "horror", even if incorrectly tagged, would integrate with the poetry and younger themes. The only other YA horror I've read, I didn't enjoy, so I was willing to DNF this book if I needed to.

I gave Me (Moth) ⭐⭐⭐⭐, and really enjoyed it. While feeling confused about the "horror" genre at the end, I found quickly of the mistake, and understood the ideas much better afterward. This book was incredibly reflective, and offered times for myself to even reflect on my own life, rather than the book's content. It included actual poetry, and moments that should've felt clunky in audio format that still felt amazing. Amber McBride narrated, which I always love because the author knows best on how they want things read. Would recommend.

4. A Season of Monstrous Conceptions by Lina Rather

Wow, this one was so interesting, and in a good way. This one was selected by the previous method of "readily available horror audiobook", but I also decided to look for more historical work. One audiobook I listened to last year was Slewfoot, also a historical horror, and I enjoyed it so so much. I found this under all my criteria, and went in completely blind.

Sarah Davis is a midwife's apprentice in 17th century London, where the babies have begun to be born "odd" and "strange". This book was also odd and strange but so incredibly captivating as well. I gave it ⭐⭐⭐⭐ on Storygraph. I think to certain audiences, it would certainly be five stars, instead of four, but regardless, it was such a fascinating read. I'd recommend blind reading/listening to others if interested. Would recommend.

5. The Deep by Alma Katsu

I wrote a very long and detailed review of this book in an earlier post in April. I gave this book ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ and enjoyed it very very very much. It was another stepping stone for me to delve further into historical horror, and I felt ushered along in the right-est way. 

It follows Annie, a stewardess on the Titanic, and later a nurse on the sister-ship Britannic, and her experiences on both tragedies. Really really fascinating and well done. Please check out my longer blog post about this book; I think so many would enjoy it. Would recommend.

6. The Road Virus Heads North by Stephen King

EW. God, this book was so so amazing to listen to and I was so incredibly uncomfortable the entire time. I went into this one blind, only really thinking about King's The Stand and the potential for a short-story virus story? That's not what this is at all and I was pleasantly surprised and incredibly disturbed by its content instead. The audiobook was barely over an hour, and made me shudder and shake more than I have before while reading.

I gave The Road Virus Heads North ⭐⭐⭐⭐, and am not totally sure why not five, but I think four suffices. Would recommend, really.

7. The Reddening by Adam Nevill

While the writing was great and I thought the story was interesting enough, I only gave The Reddening ⭐⭐⭐. I felt disappointed, as many have hyped this book up a lot for me. I didn't feel like there was substantial payoff in the concept, and that it wasn't executed in the most effective way. While a lot of it was creepy, the concept of a potentially cannibalistic cult should feel scarier than it did.

I would still recommend giving it a read, especially if you like Nevill's work. I could see people enjoying this very much. I just did not. Would maybe recommend.

I don't have too much more to say, about reading or April but I will say this: The concept of "Reader's Block" feels very real, and it's very valid to experience. Many of us carry pressures and weights with us all day, every day. Whether it's a pressure at work to achieve a specific performance, or at home with how clean or organized we appear, or our own appearances and how much time and money we spend on ourselves. Reading, in many ways, with the trendiness of "bookstagrams" and being on the internet, has begun to feel exhausting and heavy.

Read because you want to, and take breaks. Not just a day or two, but spend the weekend "being lazy" and watching TV. Take that thirty minutes on your phone instead of reading, if you know you're not going to get anything out of it. Intentions are important, and your intentions with reading will help your retention, your thought processes, and how you critically think about a text later on. 

Embrace the reader's block a little bit, be compassionate with yourself, and then hop back to it when you can. Your brain is a little bit like your stomach: always needing fuel and something to chew on, but can get full and need some time to digest.

Be gentle with yourself, and happy reading! xx

Abi